Borat im jetzt.de-Interview!

Mit dem Kinofilm über seine Heimat und eine doukmentierte Reise in die USA hat der kasachische Reporter Borat Sagdiyev in den letzten Tagen viel Aufmerksamkeit erregt. Höchste Zeit für ein Interview mit Borat - natürlich in seiner Sprache.
tobias-kniebe

jetzt.de: In the trailer of the movie, you say you will be executed by your Government if your film is not a success. Do you feel a lot of pressure right now? Borat: No, I am feelings very confident – my moviefilm have already open in Kazakhstan and was blockbustering! It took top spot from Hollywood film, ‘King Kong’ – which had been number one in Kazakhstan ever since it was release in 1933. I also reassured that even if I am execute by mistake, my Government recent introduce compensation package for families in these circumstances of clock-radio and box of chocolate toffees.

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Illustration: Julia Schubert

How are your personal relations to your President, Mr. Nazarbayev? Will he come to the premiere? Reports that Kazakhstan is unhappy with with me is actually lying propaganda from assholes Uzbekistan – who as everyone knows is very nosey people with a bone in the middle of their brains. My glorious leader, Premier Nazarbayev is, in fact, very proud of my film and recently travelled to Washingtons DC to promote it. While he was there, he become great friend with US Premier, George Walter Bush and teach him how to crush glass in his hand and suspend car battery from his testes for almost 5 seconds. If there is one more item of Uzbeki propaganda claiming that we do not drink fermented horse urine, give death penalty for cleaning anoos with Kazakh flag, or export over 300 tons of human pubis per year, then we will have no alternative but to commence bombardment of their cities with our catapults. Your president has a beautiful and well-known daughter, Dariga. Have you had the chance to shag her? Or if not, would you like to in the future? She like royalty and cannot be used for sexytime by any Kazakh men – including our Premier himself or even animal actor Jonny The Monkey. Sadly, the 2003 Tulyakev reforms abolished a lot of the cultural heritage of the Kazakh people. How do you feel about this "progress"? We is very proud of the new modern Kazakhstan and do not miss the barbarics past. Please, you must come see for yourselves - if you have family, you can stay at new resort, ‘Astana Funworld’ – where there is luxury cages for the wifes, unlimited buffet of Turkmenistani prostitutes for the husbands and an enclosure where childrens can shoot squirrel, dog and gypsy. Weiter auf Seite 2


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Illustration: Julia Schubert

In your work, you have closely followed the role of Jews on world politics. What would be your recommendation for solving the Israeli-Palestinian conflict? I do not know. We is much more concerned with assholes Uzbekistan getting weapons of mass destruction. It is rumoured that within ten years they will have technology to build their own catapults. The Uzbek imposter that spread lies about Kazakhstan in Washington recently, has he been caught? Or will a military response form your country be necessary? He is current being hunt by our agents – we think he have fled back to Uzbekistan and we is using all our best skills to find him, including asking people if they are him and looking at people to see if they resembles him. Since you have a strong history of mental retardation in your family - do you sometimes feel you're going crazy, too? There is not strong history of mental retardation in my family – it only 40%. Also, I personal am highly educate - I has degree in Plague Research from Astana Universtiy. I was responsible for create three new ones! One of them was sprayed on Uzbekistan and kill 2 millions goat! I have a two-year old daughter who likes to see you very much on tv. Will she really have to miss the film because it's only suitable for children aged three? She can watch Kazakh Teletubbies instead. My 11 yr old son Bilak recednt start as actor in it! He still very nervous about appear on camera…especial for the sex scenes. I do not know why – he have a magnificent chram – circumference 16.7cm - he should be proud to show it to the other childrens.

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