Chuck Norris would end this war!
Everywhere I went in Iraq I saw shrine erected by U.S. troops to honor Hollywood action star Chuck Norris. In movies such as “Missing in Action,” “Delta Force,” “The Green Berets,” and “A Force of One,” Norris helped to define for a generation the idea of a righteous American warrior. A tough guy with a big heart who always did what was right, even though he had to battle huge forces of evil. It’s no surprise, then, that Norris has become a cult-like figure for U.S. troops serving in Iraq.
Troops pay tribute to Norris by writing small tributes to his power on bathroom walls and in these shrines, including one I saw at a helicopter landing base in Baghdad. Messages at the helicopter base included, “The fastest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’ fist,” and “There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.”
Chuck Norris has visited Iraq several times. At Al Taqaddum Air Base, I found a portable toilet where someone had written: “Chuck Norris shit here.” Most toilets include at least one message about Chuck, such as, “The reason they don't have a street named for Chuck Norris is people would be afraid to cross it,” or “Hurricane Katrina was caused by a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris,” or “Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage,” or “There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks,” or “The reason they don't have a street named for Chuck Norris is people would be afraid to cross it.”
I didn’t want to forget the Chuck Norris “facts,” so I typically brought a notebook with me to the toilet. But there is one Chuck Norris message that I didn’t need to write down to remember: “Chuck Norris would end this war.”
Whenever I think of this message, I picture the young man who wrote it – he was probably 18 or 19. Maybe he was from a small town in the Midwest. He was raised watching action movies and he came to Iraq believing his service would make the world a safer, better place. Now, he’s not so sure.
Hier eine Übersicht zu den bislang erschienenen Folgen der Irak-Kolumne.
Text: james-hagengruber - Fotos: Brian Plonka