Gary's Suicide Note



Dear Mom,



By the time you read this, I'll be gone. I just want you to know that there's nothing you could have done to stop this. I know you always tried your best for me, and if anyone doubts you, just show them this letter.

I don't know if I can really explain why I did this. I guess it's because I know that I'll never be happy. I know that every day of my life will hurt and be a lot more bad than good. It's entirely a matter of, What's the point of living?

I could have just gone and offed myself quietly, but that would have been an even bigger waste. If I go this way, taking the people who made my life miserable with me, then maybe it will send a message. Maybe something will change, and some other miserable kid like me somewhere will get treated better and maybe find a reason to live.

Mom, i could never tell you how unhappy I was. I knew there was nothing you could do to help, and life has been hard enough on you already. I'm truly, truly sorry, that I'm going to put you trough so much pain, but I hope that in a year or two you'll get over it.

Maybe you could move away and change your name and even have a new kid.



You can start over. I wish I could be there with you, but I'm past the point of no return.



Love forever,

Gary







Brendan's Suicide Note



To the good people of Middletown:



I hope this gets printed in big, bold letters on the front page of the newspaper, because it's something every single one of you should read. I'm gone now, and you want to know why I took your kids with me?

Here's why. You made my friggin' life miserable. How? By the way you raised your kids to all want to be the same and to hate anyone who dares to be a little different. Oh, no, you're probably thinking, you didn't do that.

You sure did. I've seen you in your cars staring at me and my friends. Look at those creeps. Look at their clothes and the music they listen to. Why can't they go out for sports or at least root for our team?

Know what? Not everybody has to do what you Assholes want them to do. Maybe your kids did, but me and my friends chose not to. And you and your kids couldn't deal with that. And you had to do what stupid, ignorant people always do when they don't understand - you had to attack and torment us.

And you teachers. I Thought you taught us that America is supposed to be about freedom. Kids are supposed to be able to be different without the status quo police smashing us over the head and ridiculing us. But that's all you teachers did to me and my friends. Just like everyone else, you tried to make us conform to your narrow-minded expectations of how we were supposed to dress and act.

Well, screw you. Screw all of you. I hope this letter is like a knife in your hearts. you ruined my life. All I've done is pay you back in kind.



Respectfully cours,



Brendan Lawlor







After the rampage:





Note of a friend of Gary and Brendon



Even now when I go to school, I know I'm being watched. A friend and I leave little pieces of paper wedged in the bottom of our locker doors, and about once a week they're gone. We walk down the hall, and teachers stop talking. Nothing's changed. In fact, in some ways it's gotten worse. If you act different or dress different, you're automatically suspect.



- Allison Findley -











Auszug aus dem Buch "Give a Boy a Gun" von Todd Strasser